Something happened when I was in Photoshop playing around with the above photo. I was listening to Marvin Sapp's "The Best in Me" and tears started streaming down my face. That song does something to me. I have always felt so misunderstood. Even now. No one understands my fire. My drive. My vision. My passion.
"Oh Brit likes to write,"
That's what folx would say if you asked them. But it is so much more than that. I can't even explain it. Maybe it's not meant to be explained. Maybe it can only be shown.
I'm alone but I'm not lonely. It's true. I'm a social butterfly but lately all I want to do is spend time with me. The occasional hang out with a girlfriend is fine but I thoroughly enjoy being by myself. I don't miss anyone. I don't live near family. I don't have a significant other. I'm alone but I'm not lonely. I don't know how to explain that either but I'm grateful for this. I am 25 and I get to focus on me. Worry about me. This is my time. I am so blessed. Some people don't get this time.
God has really been moving in my life. In such a powerful way. It's almost overwhelming. I'm learning from my devotional books and attempting to stay prayerful and faithful during the week after Sunday services.
"He saw the best...."
People hate Clumps of Mascara's new layout. They don't see my vision. They don't understand where I'm going. They think I'm crazy for getting rid of a hot pink background with flowers and crap. They don't understand that I am evolving and will only get better. They think that Clumps of Mascara is just a website. They don't understand that it is also a business and that my blog is also my resume. They don't get it.
"He only sees me for who I am."
God is speaking to me. It's hard to stay quiet. I feel like screaming about how wonderful God's grace and mercy is. People say they aren't "religious". They don't get in that "praising God/Allah/Jah/Jehovah" stuff in public.
"He saw the best in me when everyone else around could only see the worst in me."
Hey World, for real....watch this....